Beyond Existing - Beyond the Small Talk
Has life's struggles left you feeling like you were going through your days "just existing?" In this podcast you will hear stories/testimonies from myself and others who have dealt with the struggles life has to offer and getting to that place in which life is being lived "beyond existing." I appreciate all of those who have been willing to "put themselves out there" to open up and share personal information for the betterment of others.
Beyond Existing - Beyond the Small Talk
Steve and Tanya Share the Hope of Breaking Addiction through the Men's Hope Center Ministries in Maiden, NC
Steve's journey from the depths of addiction to becoming a beacon of hope for others defies all expectations. After a decade-long battle with cocaine addiction that culminated in a near-fatal overdose in 2003, he found himself wrapped in a blanket on his floor for three days before being discovered by family members. Doctors grimly informed his loved ones that any longer would have meant planning a funeral.
During his recovery, fate intervened when he met Tonya at a doctor's office in Taylorsville. Though she compassionately helped him seek medical care for lingering effects from his overdose, their relationship would face devastating challenges. Still in addiction's grip, Steve betrayed Tonya's trust by emptying her bank account, forcing her to relocate to Georgia to heal from the betrayal.
The turning point came unexpectedly two years later when Tonya reached out simply to check if Steve was still alive. That single conversation sparked a profound realization that it was time to break free from drugs. Within six weeks of her return to North Carolina, they married – a decision Steve calls second only to giving his life to Christ thirteen years ago.
Their spiritual journey took an unexpected turn when they felt called to mission work after hearing a missionary speak at their church. This calling eventually manifested in an opportunity much closer to home – the directorship of the Hope Center in Maiden, North Carolina, a faith-based recovery program for men struggling with addiction.
Today, Steve leads a structured, Christ-centered recovery program that boasts a remarkable 61% success rate, far exceeding the national average of 18% for rehabilitation centers. The program focuses not just on sobriety but on restoring lives and rebuilding family relationships through spiritual guidance, vocational training, and accountability. Most remarkably, about 80% of Hope Centers nationwide are now run by program graduates who found purpose through their own recovery journey.
Have you witnessed how faith can transform even the most broken lives? Join us for this powerful conversation about addiction, forgiveness, and how one couple's redemption story is creating ripples of hope throughout their community and beyond.
Hi and welcome back to the Beyond Existing podcast. With me today are a couple I'm excited to introduce. What a wonderful testimony that they have to share. Tonya and I worked together at Riverbend and we only worked together for about a year before I retired, but we used to talk daily and it's just funny how you think you know somebody and you really don't. And you'll see what I mean when we get into this episode. And Steve, he's the director of the Hope Center in Maiden, north Carolina. Before we get started, I want to share a Facebook post that Steve shared with Tonya and you'll see the reason why I asked them to come on today. His post reads 20 years sober. Addiction is a disease that has touched everyone in some way, whether personally or through family and friends. As the Hope Center in Maiden prepares to host its first gala, I want to take a moment to share what your support means.
Speaker 1:20 years ago, I made the life-changing decision to get clean after a 10-year battle with addiction. My struggle began in high school and continued through my 20s. I hurt my parents and family emotionally and financially. At 21, I lost my job working for my mom due to failed drug tests. After a series of short-term jobs. I was given the opportunity to work for my dad. He taught me a lot, but despite his and my mom's support, I still wasn't ready to give up my addiction. In 2003, I overdosed. I was found in my rented room three days later by my dad and brother. I was wrapped in a blanket on the floor. I spent three days in ICU and the doctor told my family that if it had been any longer, they would have been preparing for my funeral. I was left with a tingling in my arm that wouldn't go away, the lingering result of the overdose.
Speaker 1:After recovering and going back to work, the first customer I visited was a doctor's office in Taylorsville. There I met my wife, tanya. She helped me get immediate medical care for the tingling in my arm caused by the overdose, specifically where the blanket had been tightly wrapped around me. We began dating, but I wasn't ready to change. In a moment of desperation, I stole everything from her bank account. Tonya had no choice but to leave, moving with her family to Georgia to heal from the betrayal.
Speaker 1:Despite my near-death experience, I continued down the path of addiction. But two years later, tonya reached out to me out of the blue, simply asking if I was still alive. It was that conversation that finally made me realize it was time to let go of drugs. She moved back to North Carolina and six weeks later we were married. Marrying her was the second best decision of my life. The best decision came 13 years ago, when I gave my life to Jesus and was baptized shortly thereafter. We've attended the same church ever since. About 10 years ago, a missionary from the IPHC preached at Living Word Church. At the end of the service he spoke about people being called into missions. As I drove home with Tonya, I knew that we were the ones being called. We never imagined it would lead us to serve in Maiden, north Carolina.
Speaker 1:I am so thankful for God's grace and mercy and the love, support and forgiveness of my family. Today I am the director of Hope Center. Ministries made in campus a faith-based recovery house where I help men struggling with addiction. Recovery programs like the Hope Center focus on restoring lives and restoring families. My two oldest children didn't get the best version of me. How could they when I was deep in addiction. Restoring my relationship within them has been a work in progress over the years. That's why facilities like the Hope Center are so crucial. Here, men not only learn to restore their lives, but they also rebuild their relationships with their families, all through the guidance of Christ.
Speaker 1:To provide this ministry to those battling addiction, we host an annual gala to raise awareness and funds for each Hope Center location. The Maiden Gala will be held on September 9th at the Providence Cotton Mill. Please prayerfully consider supporting this important cause. Had a program like the Hope Center been available to me, I could have possibly gotten cleaner sooner and spared my family some of the pain I caused. Thank you for your consideration and for being part of the journey to restoration and healing. Should you feel led to help this great cause, please reach out to me or click this link wwwhopecmcom. Forward slash gala and click. Made in North Carolina. So, steve, best decision you ever made, huh Best decision Best decision, Best decision yes, I would agree.
Speaker 1:So you went from nearly dying overdosing in 2003, to being the director of a men's recovery center and sharing Jesus. Do you mind sharing a little about how this addiction even began?
Speaker 2:Well, I have two older brothers. One is still fighting addiction and he kind of set me down that road. I hate to say that, but he kind of set me down that road and it just kind of just spiraled for probably the next 10 years.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, do you mind sharing what was your drug of choice?
Speaker 2:So I was addicted to cocaine. Of course it started with marijuana and then kind of went down the road, pretty much tried everything. But I would say cocaine was probably the last. Probably the last eight years was all cocaine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Wow. So so you overdosed in 2003. How long did it take you to recover from that overdose?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I hate to say this, but I'm still body-wise. It's, I don't think it's ever going to fully recover, but it took. It probably took a couple of years to fully fully recover.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, okay, so you worked with your dad. Can you explain the occupation, what you were doing at the time you met Tonya?
Speaker 2:So we were in communications, we did voice and data wiring. We actually maintained the outside clinics for the hospital, that we did their telephone system and kept them up and running. So of course that's where I met Tanya. She was the office manager in Taylorsville.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. So Tanya when you met him? Love at first sight? Steve is nodding his head.
Speaker 3:Yes, I don't know. He's obviously nice looking, but he was definitely you could tell that he was very sick or recovering. I mean he's very thin. But it was just talking to him immediately. I just felt just an instant connection of just liking him, feeling the need to help him out. So, was it love at first sight? I would say probably. I mean, it just was like as soon as I met him I knew I just wanted him to be part of my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what about you, steve?
Speaker 2:Oh, of course.
Speaker 1:Of course, good answer, exactly All right. Tonya, you said something that's so interesting to me. You felt that the Holy Spirit spoke to you when you guys met.
Speaker 3:I do. I have people come in and out of the office all the time and.
Speaker 3:I would never go through the lengths that I did to make sure he got in with a doctor to make sure that he was able to pay for it because he did not have health insurance. I did stuff that I would never do. I don't know that I necessarily recognized it as the Holy Spirit right then, but now that I look back I think you know that was the Holy Spirit saying you need to help him and you need to make sure that he's taken care of and so. But yeah, I would have never done that before. I mean he knows me and even after, like being married for almost 20 years, that's not something I would typically do. I'd love to help people, but not to the extreme that I helped him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that first month y'all were together were you pretty much inseparable. Yeah except for working.
Speaker 3:Yeah, when I would work and he would work, we would just not see each other during the day, but the evening hours we would go out and dinner and spend it at the house.
Speaker 2:At least for a little bit. For a little bit, it didn't last very long. No, that addiction just came right back. Yeah, it was at first, yes, and then it was maybe once every couple of days, and then it would be a week at a time. Of course, at the end it was very rare.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, all right. So what happened at the end of that first month Tonya?
Speaker 3:Well, I went to the store to I don't know if it was gas or what I was getting and I took out my debit card and it was declined and I thought, well, why in the world would that be declined? I just got paid and I just kept thinking to myself something's off. And I went home this was before you had your mobile apps and all that and I called the bank and, sure enough, I was in the negatives already and I had just gotten paid and I just could not figure it out. And then I couldn't find. No, I couldn't find. I did have my debit card, but he had had it, because I think he went to get gas or pick up something for me, and I guess it was in that timeframe that he went to. Did you go to the ATM? Is that he went to the ATM?
Speaker 3:and cleaned me out, uh-huh, so oh my goodness.
Speaker 1:And then you said something did he steal your ring too? I?
Speaker 3:had a ring. Um, he doesn't remember that, but I do just remember hiding it because I just I wanted to trust him but I wasn't gonna say anything. And sure enough, I went after all of that transpired. I went looking and it wasn't there. And I don't know who. I know I put it there, so I don't know anybody else who would have taken that. But he says he doesn't remember that.
Speaker 2:No, you don't really. I mean. What people don't understand is you can think you had something, but an addict's going to find it yeah yeah, yep.
Speaker 1:So steve um what was going through your mind as you were pulling uh money from her account uh, it was always that next high that next high it's really you're not thinking about who you're hurting what you have going on.
Speaker 2:It's the only thing in your mind is is where can I get it? Um, it's not really who you can get it from, it's just how can you get it?
Speaker 1:how can you get it? Yeah, yeah, so tanya um. So after he wiped you out, you obviously I mean, were you living by yourself at the time? Yeah, so you obviously couldn't make ends meet.
Speaker 3:No, and I just, it wasn't too long ago, I had just graduated from college and you know, you're, you're struggling, you know by yourself, and so I, just I, I didn't. I felt hopeless and helpless at the same time. And so I called my parents and, of course, come on, come on home. And that's what I did and just thought, okay, this will be good to put some space between us anyway. So that's when I moved.
Speaker 1:So, so, when you moved back, you were totally heartbroken and devastated. Yes, what did you like? How did you handle it? What, what were you praying? I?
Speaker 3:in the beginning I was very angry and I just did. I couldn't understand how I went so much out of my way to help him and at the time I knew nothing about addiction. So now I see and look at it, I get it and I really genuinely don't think he meant to hurt me. It's your typical addict just looking for the next high. So after I moved there I started working, I tried to kind of find friends, go out, and I would say probably the next six months transpired before I started to pray.
Speaker 3:I didn't want to go out just on dates with people. I was looking to date to marry and I just wasn't finding that. And so that's when I probably started to pray for the Lord to, you know, send me who you want me to be with and you know, let me be open to who you want me to spend my life with. And that's when I just started praying that I probably prayed it for about, I don't know, probably the next four or five months, Because was it about a year? I think it was about a year when we kind of started talking again. But that was my prayer Just Lord, send me somebody good, somebody that can treat me good, and just somebody that I can trust.
Speaker 1:Basically, yeah Well, how did y'all reconnect?
Speaker 3:After praying, and praying, and praying, he was just always on my heart and mind and I was wrestling with that because I was like Lord, you're not going to send me the guy who just totally crushed me. This is just not going to happen. So I just felt like I need to just see if he's even alive. And that's what he posted on his Facebook. I literally thought in my mind he surely can't be alive if he's done that and went back to drugs. So I called his place of employment and he was still on the voice recording and so I said, well, let me make sure his phone number is still the same. So when I hit it, I think it gave your option for his cell phone, which it was.
Speaker 3:So after I did that I don't know if it was the same day or maybe the next day I said, well, I'm going to call him. It was the same day or maybe the next day. I said, well, I'm going to call him. And so that's when I blocked the number because I thought, well, if he doesn't want to talk to me, I'll just know he's okay. And if, because even to this day he is not going to answer a blocked call, and neither would I and I literally blocked it and I would say just a couple of rings. He answered the phone. I literally blocked it.
Speaker 3:And I would say just a couple of rings. He answered the phone and I was like Steve and he was like, yes, he was actually on a baseball field, so we didn't get to talk very long. He was coaching his son's little league team and he said I will call you back, I promise. And I was like okay, whatever. And sure enough, I guess after was it after the game or when you got home? Do you know if it was when I got home?
Speaker 3:When he got home he called me and that kind of started just the conversation and I didn't really bring up what he did. I just didn't. I knew that I either had to forgive him or this was never going to even work as a friendship. So we really never talked about it. I just wanted I said I was just making sure you're okay and still alive and we went on to just like small talking, like what you've been up to and stuff like that so. But we did not address that's fine.
Speaker 1:We did not address what was happening.
Speaker 2:So when did you stop abusing drugs steve? Um, I'm gonna say what about 2006? At the end, about 2007, 205?
Speaker 1:yeah, okay, was it was it after the phone call?
Speaker 2:No, it was probably a month later, maybe yeah so after I called, you yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, all right. We were talking time to time and so I don't know what triggered him to stop. But we would talk about every day or so Not big long conversations initially, but just checking on each other and making sure that we were okay, was it after that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was kind of that decision, well I mean it's time to be done. Of that decision, well I mean it's time to be done, um, kind of getting a little old and you know being sick and just fighting that all the time being broke constantly. It was.
Speaker 1:I just just up in the blue, said I'm done yeah, I never go back up yeah, so like when you're addicted, do you have these voices in your head? You feel like that are telling you, like trying to keep you addicted, um I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I would say that. I would say, um, it's just that rush, um, you always want to just continue that rush. Yeah, um, me, it was always the upper, so I wanted to go, go, go all the time. It's how I am now, but it's just a cleaner version of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right Now, tonya. I think it's interesting. I just love what you told me about forgiving Steve, how you said if Jesus could forgive, yes.
Speaker 3:And I knew that early on and I think maybe, like I said, we never really discussed it. The longer we've been married we might discuss it. I might ask him a question, especially now with him dealing with residents at the Hope Center. I might ask him, like how does that work or what do you think, kind of like what you just did.
Speaker 3:And so I knew and my parents were very instrumental in teaching me this that you have to forgive people and I just knew that in all that I've ever done and all my shortcomings in life, if Jesus could forgive me, I could forgive him for this and that's just what I've always kind of had my mindset in doing so and I think I did okay. I don't think I really ever held it over your head or anything. I knew I had to forgive and obviously you don't, Right. I just knew that if I was going to make a go of this relationship, I had to be strong in saying that I'm going to forgive him.
Speaker 1:Yeah so and. I did. That's wonderful, because what do we women do when we get in a fight? Yes, bring up the past.
Speaker 3:Yes, I don't ever remember holding that over his head. Again, it has to be a God thing because, like you said, women are going to bring that up if you get into a fight or anything. And I just knew that. I just couldn't do that. It just wasn't, it wasn't meant for us to do that. We needed to forgive and move on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, steve, you invited Tonya to move back to North Carolina, correct?
Speaker 2:I did. I was in the process of buying a house and I think I just bought it and I said just listen, just move back up here. I said this time this is my house, so you don't have to worry about anything. So yeah, we talked about it for I know we didn't talk about it long and she said okay. So I jumped in the pickup truck and drove to Georgia and picked her up.
Speaker 1:Oh my God. Well, what was your first thought? Tonya? Again, I don't know. I just I really didn't know him.
Speaker 3:Well, what was your first thought, tonya? Again, I don't know. I just I really didn't know him. Again, if you think of the timeline, we, you know together for about a month. In that month's time we probably were together for about two weeks, and then it was sporadic, and then, of course, he did what he did, and then we didn't talk for a very long time and then I don't know, it's just like I said, it was just something I was like okay, if I mean, what did I have to lose? Yeah, and I feel I felt like the Lord was answering my prayer, and so I really didn't. It wasn't even about just trusting him. I had had to trust the Lord too and make sure, because every time I prayed it was him who was always just brought up, or on my mind or something related to him. So I guess I just stepped out literally on a big step of faith and just said, ok, let's do it okay, let's do it.
Speaker 1:One thing I want to know when God would put him on your mind or on your heart, would you pray for him?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was just genuinely worried about him.
Speaker 3:I saw in two weeks that I would say that he was a clean version of him. I saw a guy that I just thought was really awesome, with the big heart, a good father. I just saw like everything that I would want in a husband and so, yeah, I would pray and just, you know, lord, be with him, help him with this. And at the time I didn't know, I hadn't spoken to him, so I didn't know what he was doing with his life. So the only thing I know I can remember my dad telling me one day because I think I opened up to my parents and said what was going on and he said well, tanya, you just have to pray for him. He said you don't have to tell him that you're praying for him. He said you don't talk behind people's backs, but you certainly pray behind people's backs and you just have to let them know.
Speaker 3:And I'll never forget that. And so that's just yeah. And so I just kind of said, okay, that's what I'll do. And that's when I just finally, after doing that for a while, finally just said I'm going to call. But I'll never forget that statement, my dad told me he's like don't talk behind people's backs, yes, but it's okay to pray behind their backs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you move to North Carolina, move in with Steve, and then what?
Speaker 3:And then I just said you know what, steve, if I'm praying about this and I want this to be a godly relationship, I said we got to get married and I said, and it's got to be soon. And so he was like, ok, so like we took a Wednesday afternoon off half day and went and got married and then just went back to work the next day. We went to the courthouse so, and everybody thought I can remember sitting at his mom's house for Thanksgiving and they I remember hearing somebody say is that Steve's girlfriend? And his mom said no, his wife his wife. And I just remember thinking, okay, but I mean, it was just, I guess, so sudden, so quick.
Speaker 3:But I knew that I wanted to to be with him. So I ask him all the time did you really know you wanted to be with me? And he always tells me yes, but I don't know that he did, or just just I plead the faith, just not knowing each other that well, I always question. But he didn't hesitate to get married at all. He was like okay, okay, oh.
Speaker 2:So how old were your boys at the time? So my son was.
Speaker 3:Twelve, no, no, no, no, he's about ten.
Speaker 2:Okay, ten, and then the other one would have been eight. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, and that went well too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that transition. You know, her and my daughter, the oldest daughter, they really I think got along at first and then she kind of hit her teenage years and they kind of not got along. But I think now they do. But yeah, and of course my son, he loved her to death so but no, that wasn't.
Speaker 3:It wasn't difficult to. I wouldn't say we. I guess we blended a family with not with children initially, but just marrying him and the kids coming was not not a difficult thing at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you guys were married for a year before you decided to try for your own children? Yeah, and.
Speaker 3:I did that because I mean I was obviously I was 30 at that or pushing 30. And you know, in my I, my clock is ticking. So I didn't. I mean, ideally I guess we should have waited maybe a little bit longer, but I'm glad we didn't, because then we would have the situations that we ran through, health wise, maybe would have been too late and so yeah. So I thought, well, it's a year, let's start to try and see what happens.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I was 32 when I had mine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean I was 31 and 32 ultimately.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That was old. And you're like me. You're the older parent Around the kids. My son will be 30 this year and our baby like me.
Speaker 3:You're the older parent Around the kids. Your son will be 30 this year and our baby is 17. So you know it was just. But I honestly didn't even think I ever wanted children. But when I saw him with his kids and I was like I I, he's the fantastic father, so I knew that I needed, we needed, to have at least one more child. He, although, was finished, he'll tell you he was fine with not having any more children. That is a true statement. I don't know exactly how he felt.
Speaker 2:Glad it didn't work out that way, but that wasn't your statement.
Speaker 3:Yes, he was like I'm fine with what I have. Tanya, I'm like, well, I don't have any, I don't have any, I want a baby, exactly Exactly Now.
Speaker 1:Getting there was the hard part. Can you explain what you guys went through?
Speaker 3:what you guys went through. Well, initially we were obviously trying to have a baby. A year has went by, nothing has transpired. So I worked with a great Christian doctor and he set me up let's go to fertility, let's do all this stuff and figure out what's going on. So I went and it was a local fertility doctor. It was, and we just started with like tests and there was a history side Peniogram, I think is what you call it. There's an abbreviation they use, but it's basically where they put dye into your fallopian tubes. Well, I had two failed ones and that was painful. And after it was failed he just said I don't know what to tell you and in terms of fertility, until we go in to see what's going on inside. So that's when we started to plan just a surgery to see if I had. He was thinking endometriosis. He was thinking several things but he said I really can't speculate until I can see what's going on.
Speaker 3:And in the meantime the great Christian doctor had a patient or a friend that he knew and she was pregnant and wasn't really sure what to do. She was not married, she knew that, she was not in a place to keep a baby, she wasn't terribly young, but she just knew this was not a good decision. So she told the doctor that if he could find a good Christian family she would potentially think about adoption. And so I was like, wow, that's great. And it went on and on and on and we never heard anything. So we were real excited and I told Steve, and then we didn't hear anything for months, not until about right before she was due. And then she called me, or he called me and said she's willing to give the baby up for adoption. And that is we had how much? A month, maybe six weeks.
Speaker 2:We did everything in three weeks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I was going to ask was how long did y'all had to prepare?
Speaker 3:And it usually takes a lot longer than that. But the doctor that I worked for, he and his wife had five biological children and they had adopted six, so they were like experts in it and so Wait, hold on.
Speaker 1:They had five biological, and then they adopted six children.
Speaker 3:Six children, so they knew a thing or two about adoption. Yeah, and honestly I didn't really. We didn't have to do anything but just call. When his wife told us you need to call this lawyer, Call for this. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:Puppy, can you explain what's going on with the dog?
Speaker 3:We have a little puppy, I think she's about what is she? 16, 17 weeks old now and she was napping and so calm and I was like, oh, this will be great, We'll do the podcast and she'll be chill. And now the puppy has just come out in her. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So when you hear like little dog barks throughout the episode, that's their little golden doodle. Yeah, little squeak toys episode.
Speaker 3:That's their little golden doodle yeah, little squeak toys, and her name is hope so. But she has all of a sudden just come to life like but we love dogs in this podcast I'm so glad because she is definitely um, you know, she keeps coming up here trying to get in our laps and what's going on. Yeah, so that's what's going on if you hear squeaky toys, barks or just craziness.
Speaker 1:Yes, All right, so you get hooked up with the lawyer and the social workers and before we knew it, she came a couple weeks early.
Speaker 3:three weeks early, so within like three weeks, so within a month that we got the phone call that she was born and we needed to come pick her up from the hospital yeah yeah yeah, it just happened so quickly. We did not even have clothing because you know we were anticipating other two or three weeks, a minimum.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yep, and so we had to rush to go and get stuff that we needed. We picked up a car seat on the way to the hospital, yes, and of course we bought all pink colored stuff because, you know, basically I was told that I probably, for whatever reason, would never have a baby naturally. So I was like, well, we'll just buy everything pink and that's what we did, that's what we did.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And then, obviously, when we got her and we brought her home, we had a small little three bedroom house and you've heard the age ranges. I didn't want to put a newborn in the bedroom with an eight or nine-year-old. I just didn't think that was fair for her to have to share a room with a baby. So we started to say, hey, we probably need to buy a little bigger house and start looking for a bigger house. And we were in Hickory and I just felt just miserable I know I was short with him and it was not what I wanted to be and I remember him looking at me and saying I think you're pregnant, or maybe he even said you're pregnant and I was like, come on, no, no way. And so, yep, we had a three-month-old and I found out that I was pregnant.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Actually I was far along. I was not like just a couple of weeks. I was probably close to nine, 10 weeks pregnant.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. Yes, and I think it was actually came out as we were looking for a bigger three bedroom house to oh great, now we got to look for a four bedroom house, yep, so it was just.
Speaker 3:It was just so surreal and I just remember having those two little. We were all to talk at the doctor's office because we came in there for our visit with the three-month-old baby, and they were all because they knew that I was in there not too long ago for fertility issues. And then here I am with a positive test and a newborn basically still, or three-month-old basically. So what's their age difference. They are 10 weeks, 10 months and three weeks apart. We usually just say 11 months, but they are the same age for five weeks.
Speaker 1:Same age for five weeks.
Speaker 3:For five weeks yep, and it's so funny because people will say, say, are they twins? When they were little? I'm like no, especially if it was during that five week period. They would say, um, so how old are they? And I might say, oh well, she's five. And how old is she? She's five. And they were like, wait a minute, he's gonna step away for just a second. Um, he's got an urgent phone call, but I'll keep talking with you and okay, all right so we can come back to it.
Speaker 1:So you were telling me that you guys did not go to church during this time, did not?
Speaker 3:no, he um. I was raised in the church and um, so I never knew not having you know the Bible, the Lord part of our life. But he was not. He had not um been. He went to church. Obviously it was usually like those Christmas Eve, easter services on, when most people would come, but he um had never been. And to me it was very important that if we were having children, I wanted them to be in a church, and so I said I'm going to go whether you go or not, but I would like for you to go, and that's kind of where I left it, that's where we were, and so the children shall lead you back.
Speaker 3:Yes, indeed, and so I started looking around, particularly for children's ministries, because I wanted for not only his older kids but for our kids to make sure that they had children and youth ministry in there. And so he at first didn't act like he really wanted to go. So I was raised in a Pentecostal church. If you've not been in a Pentecostal church then that's probably not going to be your first choice to go. It's a shock, yeah, but it's what I knew, it's what I felt comfortable with, and I felt like, if I was going to have to go to church by myself, I want to go to a church that I'm familiar with and comfortable with.
Speaker 3:So I found one in Maiden, so Living Word Church, and I never went by myself. The first time I said let's go, we went, and we went every time after that and that was I don't know a couple. A couple times we went and you know he just sat and went kind of through the motions and I can remember sitting. One day and for whatever reason, he went down to the altar and I didn't know what was going on. I kind of let him. I didn't want to push him, obviously, because if there's somebody who's not Christian.
Speaker 3:You don't want to be overwhelming, you don't want to push them. And I just remember him going up there, the preacher praying with him, and as he was walking back, that's when the pastor announced welcome, our new brother in Christ, steve. So he had gotten saved and nothing. It wasn't anything about me telling him to go down there, it was all on him. And so ever since then we've went to church at the same church and he got baptized. It wasn't long after, not long after he got saved, that he got baptized. And then we've just been to the same church ever since.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay. So, steve, you didn't talk about any of this to Tonya before.
Speaker 2:No, it was kind of um out of the blue, you know it. Just it was weighing on my heart. Um, you know, we, we didn't go to church a whole lot, except for maybe a Christmas service and that's it, and I don't know it. Just something told me it's time and you need to go up there and I did, and literally it was the best decision I ever made.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So what did you think when you first stepped into a Pentecostal church?
Speaker 2:Honestly, I was scared going in. I was more scared going out. It was shocking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely a shocking experience.
Speaker 3:And it didn't help that one of the churchgoers he didn't do it on the first day, but like after we had went a couple of times he said well, now that you've been here a couple of times, I think it's probably okay for us to bring out the snakes packet of gummy worms. Oh, that's funny and I think that kind of relaxed yeah yeah, exactly, yeah exactly it's definitely um different. It's an emotional church. It um, but I like that. I love it.
Speaker 1:Feeling the emotion.
Speaker 3:And that's when I told him that you know, just go with me, I don't think you'll be, you know, disappointed, and I honestly have never invited somebody who's not been disappointed, Definitely, maybe a little taken back by some things, but um, he never once said Tonya, I don't want to go to that church, or. I don't want to go back there. It was once we started going. That's the only place we've ever been.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's definitely not a church you're going to fall asleep at.
Speaker 3:That's for sure. It's perfect.
Speaker 1:So, Steve, how do you compare trying to fight your addiction before giving your life to Christ versus after giving your life to Christ?
Speaker 2:Um, I think after you, kind of after you give your life, you have meaning behind what your decisions are. Um, you know, everything that we do now is for his glory and not for our glory. So it's not that addiction where it was, everything was for me, me, me, me, me. Now it's what can I do to show God's glory to everybody else? And that's what we try to live by every day.
Speaker 3:And I definitely saw an instant change in him Once he got saved. It's just for the positive. Obviously it was just a different. Steve was already really good, but then when he got saved he was like great, it was just a wonderful guy to have around.
Speaker 1:Tell us about the missionary and the calling that you felt.
Speaker 2:If I remember correctly, it was probably so. We were pre-warned about the missionary that was coming and it was shocking, I mean just the way he spoke and kind of what he put out. I think he was from, I can't remember, I think he was serving in like Spain. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So in Spain, is where he was when he came to visit, and he's one of the missionaries that our church supports.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it was just kind of that, you know and this has only happened probably a couple of times that it's like when somebody speaks and we always say it's God talking to you, is it feels like it's a direct communications, like literally sitting right in front of you and it is who he is talking to, and it was kind of one of those things. Well, of course, you know, I'm not, we were Christians and thing, but still was not like fully in church, you know.
Speaker 3:But hadn't experienced that. He was still a very young Christian.
Speaker 2:Yes, who wouldn't?
Speaker 3:experience this.
Speaker 2:And that was probably really the first experience with the Holy Spirit just talking to me and course I didn't say anything because I'm like, oh, this is no, this ain't right. We got a caller and I don't know. It was one of those, tony, I think he was talking to us.
Speaker 3:I said I agree, because I felt it too. It was like, wow, it was definitely the Holy Spirit saying he's talking about you guys. You guys are the ones that are going to be the missionaries in this church right now. So we were like, well, what do we do?
Speaker 2:now we were excited. We're like where are we going, when are we going?
Speaker 1:Exactly yeah, because when you think missionary, you think going to another continent, another country.
Speaker 3:Indeed. So I was like, well, the kids are at a good age for this. They were still early elementary. I was like this will be okay. And so we talked to the pastor and his wife and kind of told us what we needed to do to kind of prepare for this. But then, I think, you started taking classes, I did, he started taking classes through our conference. They're based just outside of Greensboro. And then, like you said earlier, life just happened. We got busy, we obviously knew about this, but life just happened with two young kids going back to school, myself to go to become a teacher, and we just never really thought really. I mean, it was always in the back of our mind but we never really said anything more about it, thing more about it. And so that's kind of where we were. We knew that we had this calling, but we didn't know when or where we would do this and that kind of led to the Hope Center.
Speaker 2:It did.
Speaker 3:Yes, so how long has it been? Three years ago, Three years.
Speaker 3:Three years ago, the church mentioned that they wanted to sponsor a hope center in Maiden or because it's right there on the Catawba-Lincoln line is where our church is, right there outside of Maiden, and they were looking to place one either in Maiden area or in Lincoln County or Lincolnton area, lincoln County or Lincoln, um, uh, lincolnton area.
Speaker 3:So as soon as and we had never heard of this, but as soon as they started talking and starting the fundraising component of it, um, we, uh, steve, like, I think in the middle of church, did you not text the preacher or pastor? I didn't. On that one I didn't, but we definitely our ears perked up and I think it has something to do with how and he brought it into the sermon about how people are going to treat. We're going to have an example of how God is, how we are to love people and treat people in the next couple of years when the Hope Center is open. And so that immediately is, you know, obviously passionate. We're both passionate about that, and so that's when we both knew, gosh, this is a great opportunity and we didn't really think about it for us at the time, we were just excited that the church was going to do this?
Speaker 1:Did your church know anything about your past at all?
Speaker 2:Some of them did. You know, it's kind of one of those you don't want to be judged, so you have to keep it to yourself. Our pastor knew and our associate pastor knew. I did give my testimony to our youth a couple of years before that, so they knew. But you know the church-wise, they did not and I honestly, until I just made that Facebook post, I think a lot of them had no clue either.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because it's just not something that's kind of we try to bring it up in conversations.
Speaker 1:Oh, I know I was going to say say you were so brave to put that out there like you did and to be able to be willing to come on here and let it be broadcast yeah, it's been a roller coaster here in the last last little bit I'm sure it has good stuff. Yeah, yep. So how did you um get involved with the Hope Center? How did all that work out? Well it's funny.
Speaker 2:After they got approved to be a sponsor in church they were in the process of trying to find a house to do it in. Our pastor says you know, he's preaching. And when he got done he said you know, hey, listen, we've got everything approved. The Hope Center is looking for a director and a recovery pastor for the House of Maiden. And it was again that holy spirit talking to me. And that's the time that literally I was texting him during service saying I'm in like what do I need to do?
Speaker 2:um, and it's funny. And then, kind of he, he texted me back and said, hey, go in here and do an application. So I actually pulled it up and stopped and I said, tanyaanya, I'm not going to get this. This is kind of I'm not this, this job's not for me. And so she told me to call him, and actually called our pastor and talked to him and he was like listen, you can't live in doubt. He said this is your calling, you need to do this. And we did, did, and it was a. It was a very long process, um it it literally went for about a year, um, through multiple interviews, um, and then finally getting the word saying you got the job, but we can't hire you.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, because we still had zoning stuff we had to go through, um, they still had to wait on closing the house. So it was.
Speaker 3:It was almost out, close to a year, it was almost a year and I remember him um texting me and say I got the job, and I think my response was praise the Lord or something. And then he responds back with but I can't be hired right now. So, and I understood I mean it's a nonprofit organization, obviously, so they're in the process of trying to finalize the house. They're in the process of getting all cause. There's a lot and they also had to rezone it, which took a little bit.
Speaker 3:There was not a lot of people, I don't think, understood what the purpose of the house was in Maiden, and so there was a lot of people against it and there may be one or two people still against it. But I think, overwhelmingly, when the church showed up to the zoning meeting or to the council meeting, birch showed up to the zoning meeting or to the council meeting, it was amazing how they said I didn't go because I didn't want to be like a protective wife and kind of get upset. But Steve said you tell, like how, like what was the atmosphere there.
Speaker 2:You have to get zoning approved and then you have to do an open forum for the community with everybody around the house and then once that gets approved through the council, then it goes to the zoning board, then it goes to city council for their approval. Well, of course, city council is they bring everybody in from the town of Maiden and I'll be honest with you, it was about 80-20, 80 in support and 20 just wanted nothing to do with it, including a pastor. Believe it or not, a pastor lives close to it and said I think this is a great idea, the town of Maiden absolutely needs this, but it's too close to where. And said I think this is a great idea. We, the town of Maiden, absolutely needs this, but it's too close to where I live.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, um, there was a police officer there and she was, you know, completely against it, but I will say the town of Maiden, their board, it was a unanimous, a unanimous decision to approve it. So it was unbelievable.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think people like you know, just sharing his testimony, like people didn't know what he's been through, and I don't think people realize how many people in life have been affected by drug addiction or alcohol addiction. They don't realize that and that's what you, I think, said overwhelmingly. Everybody in support was like I've dealt with this with a family member, I had a friend pass away and it was just overwhelming to how much they said this is definitely needed and so, yeah, so it was approved. It was.
Speaker 3:And we thought, okay, we're going to get a, he's going to get a paycheck now, because, oh, we didn't. He lost his job in February and we were like it's okay, You're going to get this job. And I don't think he finally was actually hired on until April, mid-April.
Speaker 2:Mid-April.
Speaker 3:Mid-April. So we went from the first of April to mid-April and I again was not upset or worried because I knew he had a job and I knew that the Lord would take care of us when you're obedient and you pay your tithes. And it was I'm not going to say it was the easiest we didn't get to live our, but we did nothing, we didn't go without. We did not went extra we cut back a lot.
Speaker 2:We weren't going to let it affect especially our kids and stuff like that. You know we didn't eat out quite as much. Probably didn't eat filet, instead we just had a ribeye or nothing else.
Speaker 1:We had chopped sirloin yeah.
Speaker 3:We had a hamburger, but yeah, I mean it was definitely something that we never. Every bill was paid, everything was taken care of, but we did. We did feel I personally felt bad because I said that we would take Paige on a senior trip. And I don't think I think she knew because I mean, we obviously had the money to live, but we did not have the money to take her on a cruise or something like that. But I felt like she understood, I didn't, and I thought it was very mature of her to do that, and so that was the one thing that if I was upset about anything is that I said I would take her on a senior trip. You know that the whole family or her friend or somebody could go with, and we didn't get to do that. But she didn't ever say anything about it. And I think she understands that what we were doing was something for the Lord and that I will definitely take her on a senior trip some other time, but right then it just wasn't going to happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And we finally did get the house purchased, um, and then it still came in. I don't even know why we I guess we had to wait for Catawba County to kind of give us of how many guys we can have actually in the house. So I spent two months there, every day. We painted the whole house from top to bottom. It was a huge task. My parents were actually my mom was there almost every day with me painting and my dad when he's not playing golf, of course, he was over there helped pay.
Speaker 2:So it it kept, of course, my mind um off of waiting for that job, because it was always okay, it's gonna be the first of next month or it's gonna be in two weeks, but they just couldn't say for definite because we, we were just in that waiting period, um for everything to come through. So we actually may May 5th, we opened the doors. We actually got our first residence in on May the 4th, which we kind of weren't supposed to do, but we did. They didn't, the guy didn't stay in the house, but he was our first resident.
Speaker 1:He stayed with the admissions coordinator in the area.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, Technically the first resident with a day early, but then everybody else came on.
Speaker 2:the fifth which was our open house, which is so funny because it was our church open house. So we actually had residents coming in from other centers that were what we call our seed residents. So they were our first ones. They had already been anywhere from 30 to 45 days in the program, so they were coming in already knowing how it's supposed to run and that way it kind of got us used to them and got our house in order. Yeah, which is a big part of what the Hope Center is is having that structure in place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so can you just tell us, just describe to us, what the Hope Center is and kind of the schedule, what these guys go through from day to day?
Speaker 2:So our day starts off. At 4.45 in the morning is their wake-up time. They have roll call at 4.55. So roll call, everybody has to be there.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's an early morning start.
Speaker 2:So they eat breakfast at 5.00 AM. They eat together. So our house is we, our house, we are a family, so we all eat together every meal, um, and then so they get done eating, they do their chores, um, they do their dishes and everything clean up. Then we go into praise and worship. Every morning they usually do three or four songs of praise and worship, Then they go into their chores.
Speaker 2:So our guys that are at the house right now we have probably six that are in the house full time the other ones go to work. Well, they go to do vocational training. So the other ones do all their chores. They clean the house from top to bottom Every single day mop, they clean the whole house. After that they do their book work. So their book work would be Bible studies, book work. So their book work would be Bible studies, stuff like that. 12 o'clock they eat lunch, one o'clock they go into what we call their soaps and all that is is their, their counseling, with our recovery pastor doing all that till about three o'clock. At three o'clock we kind of tend to lighten up a little bit. The guys get home, we eat dinner at five.
Speaker 2:The ones that are in training, um, on Mondays they go to celebrate recovery every Monday. Um Tuesdays is pretty much the same, but after three o'clock they have a free day. Um Wednesday nights they go to church. Thursday nights are free night. Friday night we do family support. So you know we can, the families can come in. They do. You know, just talk about bringing the families back together what we can do, and then, if they can't we do, we do it on Zoom so all the families can log in when they get done. The residents can have kind of like a one-on-one time with them, their family, which is really nice for them. Especially we have some that you know are from. We have a guy from Hawaii, so of course he doesn't have any contact with his family. So that was his only time, so of course he doesn't have any contact with his family.
Speaker 2:So that was his only time. And then Saturday morning we have house church every Saturday morning and then, of course, church on Sunday. You know our house runs in phases. So our first 30 days is what we call our first phase. First phase they don't leave the house unless it's for Celebrate, recovery church or if we're doing community service. Either or not, they're there all the time. Our second phasers are after that 30 days.
Speaker 2:We try to find them vocational training. So they go out, they work a 40 hour work week, um, and then they have the option of if they don't get in any trouble, they follow all the rules. Then they can actually go on a sunday pass as long as the family comes to church. So the only way they can go anywhere that we have to see their family, um, their family has to go through a class saying you know, this is our rules and stuff, that you have to abide by these rules if you want them to go. So they do that. They usually leave right after church and then come back by five o'clock.
Speaker 2:And then our third phase is kind of it lightens up. They can actually get their own jobs, jobs, they get their own paychecks, they get, you know, they can have a car, they can have a cell phone, um, and their rules would be they just have to be in an hour before curfew, um, and then they're still under the same rules, as they still have to buy, buy random drug, drug tests, and that all the time. And we do our random drug tests, we try to do them. We have to do them within 30 days. I don't really like to go 30 days, I don't like people to know when we're going to do it, because our job is to keep these guys clean and help them with their sobriety. So I tend to mix ours up. So you know, some people might have one one day and two days later I might give them another one.
Speaker 1:Just because I don't want them to. Well, what would happen if they did test positive? So if somebody snuck some in?
Speaker 2:So if they test positive, they are automatically removed from the program. So we and when we say that they, we do not allow them to walk off our property we physically put them in a car and we take them either back to their family or even a homeless shelter or something like that. But yeah, we've never, we don't let anybody walk off our property.
Speaker 3:I think that was a big concern with the citizens that were.
Speaker 1:That's understandable, yeah.
Speaker 3:And I get that as a mother. I understand that, but I think that's really good. They never can leave by themselves, obviously. So if there is an issue, or even if one I think he's had one that just said I can't do this and it's not a matter of OK, see, they took them, I think, somewhere in Caldwell County. I mean they, they took them there and dropped them off, and and that was volunteer, voluntarily.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he just voluntarily.
Speaker 3:Yeah. He was like I just don't think this is for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So how does? How do they even get into your program?
Speaker 2:So they have to go through an application process and then once our admissions team gets their application, then they go in and do an interview of them and you know, applications could be while they're incarcerated it could be somebody off the streets just trying to find a place to get clean. So once they get through that part of the interview, then our program costs $700. It's a one-year program, which is unbelievable. That that's all they charge for somebody to come in for a year. It is yeah, and the funny part is if they complete the program they get their $700 back. So they literally can come in for free. And of course we don't turn anybody away. We have scholarships and sponsorships that could help people out. But yeah, they come to us, we get to interview them when they get to the house and if we feel that they're going to be a good fit for our house, then we will accept them into the program.
Speaker 3:And, I think, can you send them to other locations if you're either full and we have locations around us.
Speaker 2:We have some in mount airy galax, virginia, roanoke, virginia um dunn, north carolina and goldsboro north carolina so we have enough around us that we can pack them up in a car and drive them you know, two hours to another center yeah, especially if you have residents not getting along.
Speaker 2:And we've had one. We've had one that just wasn't. He was there for about 30 days. It just wasn't a good fit for him and we ended up moving him to another center and now he is just excelling in the program and he's one of the leaders in that house. So it's just sometimes you've got personalities that just don't go well together.
Speaker 1:Right, they don't click. Yeah, yeah, we understand that teaching middle school, don't we Tonya?
Speaker 3:And as educators, I think that's what I love about the program is they are, first and foremost, they're teaching you about Jesus, and then they are teaching you how to restore your relationships with your families and friends, and then they're teaching you how to get a job and to keep a job, and then they are teaching you how to become responsible with your money and be a good steward with that money. And I think that's the neatest thing is that it's not just we're going to get you clean for a year and then you're on your way.
Speaker 3:And then you're on your own. They do give you, I feel, the skills necessary to remain sober, and that's what I like about it is that they are teaching you these things, and I love to see the transformation of just the ones that are. You just see them with the love that they have for the Lord and how they come in just defeated.
Speaker 3:And now, after they've been there a couple of months, you can see that they are, you know, worshiping in church, which we've never seen. You know, like you know, during praise and worship they might even be singing is a big deal. But then, when you raise your hand and worship the Lord, we're like wow, this is an amazing transformation that we get to witness, and not only us but also all of the other church members are seeing this happen right before our eyes, and I think that's what's the neatest thing about it is that it is just all done and we just give all the glory to God, because it doesn't matter if Steve was there, or the recovery pastor, or our church pastor. This is with their help. The Lord is just transforming these people's lives, and I just think that's the neatest thing.
Speaker 2:And we run our house. Our house is very structured. It is your bed's made. Every day. It is very strict rules because, being an addict, your whole life you haven't followed rules and you've made your own rules and we're teaching you how to follow the rules and know and when you leave this program, you know exactly what you should be doing and not just doing whatever you want to do because, honestly, we had a resident here lately that he just he wanted to do whatever he wanted to do and we had the conversation listen, that's what got you in this spot you're in now.
Speaker 2:You want to do it your way. So let's do it God's way and let's do it. You know the way, the way we're supposed to do it, and he's another one, he's just excelled from it. But yeah, they just you got to get that mindset out of doing everything your way.
Speaker 1:Your way.
Speaker 2:You have to do it God's way, because your way is not right.
Speaker 1:Your way is what got you into this.
Speaker 3:Clearly something wasn't working there, so let's try. And in my thought process, what do you have to lose? I mean the ones that were not, you know, Christian. I think there's been a couple of salvations, and right, there is a win in itself If you've had. I don't know how many people saved just in the short few months. That's worth it, right, because that is ultimately what we're called to do is bring people to Christ, and so that is just. It's so neat, when there is one, that that in baptisms they had a baptism service.
Speaker 2:We had six residents out of our first. I think we were at 12.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So half of our residents got baptized on the same day and that was unbelievable.
Speaker 1:That's wonderful.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was so exciting, Especially when you're going to stand up and proclaim hey, I'm a Christian, I'm going to follow Christ, and especially just thinking, you know, just even two months ago, what were they doing with their lives, and now they're like to me, like Steve, it's the greatest thing ever to give your life to Christ and to just give everything to Him and don't worry about it and stuff. So I'm so proud of those guys.
Speaker 3:I'm so proud of them and I think that is. What's really neat is that we get to do this ministry together. So I'm there, whether it's helping them learn how to cook with a larger portion size. Or I think we patched up a guy's pants. He was going to throw them away and my daughter and I were like, don't throw those away, we can sew them up or put a patch in it. And he was like, oh okay, also, if they need like allergy medicine, I kind of am old enough to be most of their moms it's about 50-50. And so they come to me like I need some allergy medicine. I just feel so bad. And Steve was like you'll be fine and I'm like I'll get you some allergy medicine.
Speaker 1:Mama Tanya yeah, that's what they call me Mama Tanya.
Speaker 3:I think that's what's so neat about it is we get to do the ministry together, our girls obviously Paige is off at school now, but they have spent several days and just any opportunity that we have to be there with the guys they go and you think about it.
Speaker 3:I mean they've given up their life for a year and some of them see a family member regularly that comes to church and some of them I've not seen any family come and I don't know if it's a distance thing or if it's a money thing or if it's maybe their family isn't healed from the hurt. It's just, and I am a firm believer that they will come around. But and that's when we say okay, that's why our family's there. So we're kind of their little adopted sisters and I'm the mom of the house and Steve's parents are there all the time and they call her in, because we all know what it feels like. We've all been either affected by it in Steve's case, an actual addict or us, as loved ones, have been. You know, we've experienced it. So I think it's exciting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think so. So how do you support these guys once they graduate the program?
Speaker 2:well, that's the hard part. Um, you know, the hardest thing with with them is is not not trying to let them go back to where they came from. Um, we are, we are big on, hey, let's keep you around here, but you know, and a lot of times that's just they're just going to go back home. Yeah, so on the side that we are trying to figure out a way to do a graduation house, so maybe do a house that we can the graduates come in and it gives them maybe another year to to live in a house, share it with other graduates, kind of keeps, kind of balancing your money.
Speaker 2:Have an accountability partner there with you, but then following the same drug test rules and all that, but it gives them a space of their own that they have to. They'll pay rent on and they have to keep it up, but that way we can keep a close eye on them and we can also be there if they need us. Yeah, but yeah the hardest thing is just you see a lot of people just relapse them because they go back home.
Speaker 1:Right, right yeah. Where it started and those bad influences. And yeah, I'm sorry, go ahead Tonya.
Speaker 3:The hope is, with their vocational training, which eventually becomes their job, obviously that they are able to financially support themselves if they choose to live around here, and that's why we obviously rent is not cheap anymore, I mean, it's insane. So that is what I think we're kind of praying for now is to maybe have this home eventually, so that they don't feel the need to go home right away, so that they can, you know, hopefully be proud of themselves and the progress they've made and then, if they do want to go home eventually, they have a little bit more time in between what they've done previously.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you mentioned a guy from Hawaii, so I guess y'all have guys from all walks of life.
Speaker 2:So I guess y'all have guys from all walks of life, we do. The guy from Hawaii actually was a D1 football player. Ended up going. He hurt his shoulder. Was supposed to go in the second round of the NFL draft. Ended up falling out of the draft because he had injury to his shoulder.
Speaker 2:Ended up being on the practice squad for a year and a half, had to let him go and then that's when he fell into his addiction of alcohol, but he actually completed the program in Hawaii, so we have a campus there, ended up relapsing and kind of said I want to go back and our admissions guy from north carolina was actually in hawaii trying to help out up there and said, hey, listen, you want to get clean, get on a plane, let's go. And they flew and he was. He was here for a couple of days and then he was in our center. He was actually our first resident, yeah.
Speaker 3:And then come like usually they're around this area but it could be anywhere in the United States that they need help and I think I have a lot of respect for the guys who may be from this area, but no, this is not the house for them. So they'll say I want to be a part of this program, but is there one that you can take because I just cannot be around this area? So I think that happened recently. You took one. It was to Virginia. He said I want to be in the program but I don't know that being this close to home is this close. So he had enough sense to say I need to go elsewhere, but it's still within driving distance of his family. But then again, if somebody wants to get far away, I mean, obviously there is how many locations was it 57 in the?
Speaker 2:United States.
Speaker 3:So we can find a place for them if there's a bed open there.
Speaker 1:So when I was on the website, is it Oklahoma, somewhere that has a man's home, but then there's also a women's house as well.
Speaker 2:Correct. Yeah, we do, men and women. It's actually I think it's in the works right now that they would like to start. We're going to try to start one, a women's hope center in Lincoln. Yeah, so it'll be sponsored by our same church, but would be a woman's house.
Speaker 3:And I think that total number of campuses include some women. I can't remember how many are women and men, but it does include the total right.
Speaker 2:Male and female homes.
Speaker 3:And that's important as well, because when they were talking to town councils and one of the people and our pastor mentioned it that he was very adamant. Well, this is a great thing for the men, but you can't forget the women as well. There's a great need for women houses like this as well.
Speaker 2:It was actually somebody in a local police department that said it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we need a women's house. So I think, they were praying about it and they feel pretty led that they're going to sponsor a woman's house as well.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's great to hear. So you said you have 57 worldwide.
Speaker 2:No, that's just United States.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's just the United States.
Speaker 2:And then I think we have quite a few outside of the United States.
Speaker 3:There's one in Thailand for women that they just opened. And that one is supported by the government. The government was big even with the faith-based program. They were astonished with the statistics and all that. So the government said, hey, let's see what you can do.
Speaker 1:And then in Belize, hey, let's see what you can do. And then in Belize. That's amazing because there's so much like communism in those Southeast Asian countries.
Speaker 3:Yes, and so they've got that one. Belize just opened one, and I'm trying to think of some other countries, but you would be surprised where they're at. Actually, it's definitely the Lord for them to put in these Christian-based recovery centers, but they just have such a huge problem, particularly with women in Thailand, that they wanted to give this a oh yeah. So it'll be interesting to see the statistics on that I was wrong.
Speaker 2:It's 51. In the United States 57 total.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, so you mentioned the rate. What are the figures?
Speaker 2:for recovery. So the national average is 18%. The Hope Center's average is 16% 18%.
Speaker 1:For who?
Speaker 2:Graduation rate Okay, yeah, centers, uh, average is 18 percent. For who? Graduation rate okay, yeah. So, um, the rate of it's probably, I don't know 70, 30, I think, men's to women's house. So does that answer your question?
Speaker 3:I think he got ahead of himself there.
Speaker 2:I was just so. I was trying to figure out, like you know, for the recovery rate, what is the percentage of those?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're at a 61% graduation rate 61% graduation rate Okay, and those that are 18% are those that don't and those that are 18% are those that don't.
Speaker 2:That is the national average for your regular rehabilitation centers. Okay, Now granted that could be a 30-day program. That could be a 60-day program Could be a year-long program? Yeah, so 61%. And the big thing about Hope Center is probably about 80% of the Hope Centers are now ran by guys who have been through the program, so they'll graduate, then they turn around and train and eventually, within two years have their own center.
Speaker 1:Wow, okay, yeah, that gives purpose. I think that's probably what a lot of them are lacking, don't you think?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and we've got quite a few that say, listen, I'm graduating. They laugh. They always say, man, we're coming for your job.
Speaker 3:Y'all keep saying that, but I think you're right. I think at some point drug use and I'm not, I've never used drugs, so I can't say this but I gather there's some point in their life where they have a low self-esteem and like Steve will even tell you well, he told you I didn't think I was qualified for this job, he just didn't think he could do it, and it just the encouragement of the pastor and myself and that's what these guys need as well. So, and I like how they can do an internship once they finish the program and then they can go to a paid apprenticeship before and this all along is training purposes and then they can have their own center, I mean, within a couple of years. These guys have a great purpose in life and so, yeah, I think that's what they lack.
Speaker 1:Yes, so that's wonderful. So 61% success rate for a strong, faith-based, structured environment Absolutely Wow, wow, absolutely Wow.
Speaker 2:So what happens if there's a relapse?
Speaker 2:So if they do relapse they, depending on who the house is nine times out of 10, we will restart them in the program. You know, we're definitely not going to say you know, okay, you relapse, we're not ever going to take it back, because that's how are we going to be. We're going to be forgiven by God, but yet we're not going to forgive somebody for relapsing. No, we're going to, we're going to bring it back, but we're probably going to put them into a different center, a different atmosphere, probably further away. So we can try to keep that, Because we know their faith is there. They just made a bad decision. We're just going to move them away where they can be a little bit further away from where they got in trouble.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So, going back to their schedule, what's some of the downtime activities that y'all have on those rest days? So?
Speaker 2:they, it's so funny they. We actually have a ping pong table, we have a pool table, we have corn hole, you know, of course they can watch TV Basketball Basketball goal. It's a. We just put in some horse. Of course they can watch TV Basketball Basketball goal. We just put in some horseshoe pit. They always have something to do. We have a weight room in our garage. They have plenty to keep them busy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it's interesting. On, like some Saturdays, they have a family Saturday. I want to make sure.
Speaker 2:So, out of four Saturdays, we have a family Saturday, which means all the family can come in. We'll do a cookout, We'll do something where you know we've put out a slip and slide and a blow up something fun. One Saturday we'll do a tournament day, so we'll play darts, We'll have a dart tournament, have a pool tournament, have a cornhole tournament, and the winners of them we give them a $20 gift card. And then our third Saturday is usually our rest day. They can get up, eat breakfast, do their house, church and then they can just relax the rest of the day. They can go back to bed if they want to. You'd be amazed if guys get up early at 4.45, they get an off day. You're probably not going to see them a lot.
Speaker 1:I hope so we're going to burn that Saturday up yeah.
Speaker 3:Catch up on their sleeping.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was going to say catch up on the lost sleep.
Speaker 2:Yes, and then the last Saturday is we try to do like a paid rec, so we'll go and.
Speaker 3:We've went to the Hickory Meadows Speedway.
Speaker 2:They've been bowling, so we try to do something fun. You know as hot as it is right now. Our guys are going to the pool. This Saturday, one of our church members opened up his pool and said hey, bring, bring your families over and let's just have a pool day Wonderful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wonderful.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, so last thing I want to talk about is this gala event. Can you tell the audience about this?
Speaker 2:So this is our first ever gala. It is literally. It's going to be a night to remember. Yeah, it's at the Providence Mill in Maiden, an absolute beautiful facility, and we have strung together a team that has really just made this event spectacular.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's going to it's going to be something special. Yeah, and it's our. It's what we really we try to live off for a year. You know it helps us keep the house up and running. You know repairs and stuff. You know you think you got right. Now we're at 16, we're getting ready to go to 34. You know that's a whole lot of wear and tear on the house that is.
Speaker 1:So you got 16 men living there and you're getting ready to expand it to 34 men as our septic gets done to 34.
Speaker 2:Okay, we're in a construction zone right now, redoing the basement. Yeah, so know it'll be a great food. The smoke pit out of Cornelius is going to cater our food. What's it? Cornelius or Concord? Maybe Concord, I'm not sure, but absolutely amazing. You know we've got audio videos, so we'll have testimonies from a graduate of the program who is now actually an intern, and then a couple of our residents are going to do their testimony. You know, one is a former Well, some of a former, I guess he was in the Army.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, he's a veteran.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And then we've got one who just got out of prison after 10 years in prison. So they're going to do their testimonies and they're absolutely just unbelievable, literally emotional testimonies. And then we'll have some auction stuff. We've got a silent auction. We'll have a live auction. We have Eric Church VIP tickets. We have six tickets to a UNC football game. We have a trip to Montana. One of our Hope Center houses has Airbnb in Montana, so we're going to auction that off.
Speaker 3:Baskets for the silent auction. It's going to be a really neat way to donate to the cause, to help the house stay open and help these guys.
Speaker 3:And so we're excited. It's the first one. We're a little nervous because we really don't have anything to go by. But the church is amazing. They put the committee together. We meet about once a week and every day, every time we meet, there's just more exciting news that they've got this many sponsorships and they've got this and we're going to have this going on. And usually I'd like to say, they get about a year to plan this and by the time this is all said and done, we will have have had a total of maybe six weeks something like that six weeks to plan this event and I, like I said, it's going to be a spec, a spectacular event.
Speaker 3:it's a gatsby kind of theme. Um, it's going to have like the old hollywood type, hollywood type decor come in your best or come just however you feel led to come, but if you want to wear I mean I always say somebody is always looking for a good opportunity to dress up and have good food, so well, it's really going to be a neat thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So what? How do we order tickets?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what? How do we order tickets? So the easiest way is you go to it's hopecmcom backslash gala and then just go under the maiden, the maiden link, and you can buy your tickets right off of there. There's $65 a ticket or you can buy a whole table which seats eight, for 500.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And it is worth. It's going to be worth every penny.
Speaker 1:And that's September 9th. September 9th, Okay. Well, I appreciate you guys being willing to come on here and share your testimony.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you for having us. I know when you reached out to us I thought, well, I would love to do that, but it's really his testimony to tell, and he didn't hesitate. So I'm so glad that he's willing to share what he's overcome and what God's done in his life.
Speaker 1:So thank you for having us. Thank you very much, yes.
